breathe

brEaThe
BreAtHE
bREatHe
breAThE
bReaThE
BrEaTHe




I feel like I'm in one of those pregnancy classes that teach you how to breathe regularly. Or else my mind just races me everywhere and worries before I can even catch myself.

It's so sad. 2 classes a semester is not even that much...
but I think it's the sum of everything.... that makes me alittle overwhelmed.
I was overwhelmed in college during midterms and I didn't have work or house to worry about.

Last night I tried to complain to my mom, but I don't think she let me.
the conversation went alittle like this:
me: "Mom, I'm stressed. I have a midterm I haven't started studying, and I'm already doing bad. I also have a project due in less than 24 hours and I haven't started. There's so much stuff to do for the house, and this report, that report for this inspection, that estimate.... BLAH BLAH BLAH"
mom: "If school is so hard, maybe you should just stop. Or don't get a house"

it was something along those lines. THEN I complained some more about how she wasn't encouraging, etc. yes I complain alot.
but I think it has finally hit me alittle bit... IF I am the one who wanted to go back to school, or IF I am the one who wanted a house. I am responsible.

All this time I tried to blame Justin. poor justin. I think because he is closest to me. (therefore direct hit=victim) I need to take the responsibilities for the things I am doing. for the things I choose. It's a choice... and I did it.

so just like Justin said, I need to look around.... and be thankful already.